Phantasies and Alternate Dimensions (feline_phantasy) wrote,
Phantasies and Alternate Dimensions
feline_phantasy

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A little more respect, love, and compassion.

Recently we have had some situations in our clan where people have faced accusations, bullying, and intimidation. As you can imagine, it has caused a boatload of drama.

I was involved in a couple of situations where people asked me to advocate for them, because they didn't want to be a wide-open target for these behaviors.

I don't start drama. I am usually called in to end it, or to try to prevent it. It takes one helluva lot of abuse to push me over the edge, and unfortunately, I was pushed that far and further. This resulted in me issuing an ultimatum and that is not something I am known to do. Naturally this did not go over well with my liege, the King. He did, however, give me the opportunity to apologize for flying off the handle and provide further clarification as to what led me to that point.

This leads me to say something to everyone reading this, but most importantly, to those inhabiting virtual reality and even more specifically, those involved in the Bloodlines game on Second Life.

Let's all remember that in the end, we are human beings behind the keyboard and monitor. Every single human being deserves a basic level of respect, and definitely, the benefit of the doubt. The ranks we earn in Bloodlines are imaginary and really don't have any true power; therefore, it becomes a real problem when people use those imaginary ranks to lord over, abuse, or harass other people.

There are always going to be differences of opinion. There will always be misunderstandings, and mis-communication. Everyone needs to remember that everyone deserves basic consideration, and that nobody - no matter what they do - deserves abuse.

In fact, the higher rank you gain within your own clan and in Bloodlines itself, the more you are tacitly called upon to show how adult you are and how much of a compassionate human being you can be. I know there are a lot who do not think they are required to demonstrate either one. All you can do about those people is to steer clear of them and not allow them to abuse you. Keep in mind that it makes you no better to badmouth these people. Others will find out about those people's behavior. It will make you look just as bad trying to "warn" others.

Instead of automatically assuming someone is in the wrong, or has committed some sort of infraction, or has insulted you - stay calm, and look at the situation from an analytical standpoint instead of an emotional one. What motivated this person to behave as they did? Is there something you can do to help? Perhaps they don't feel like their voice is being heard - so give them an ear. See if a solution can be worked out which doesn't involve ejection and banishing.

Don't storm in, act like they pissed on the royal jewels, and come down with a heavy hand. Remember that you can/have been in the same situation and you know how you would like to be treated. Find out what the core problem is, before resorting to kicking some ass. Save your emotions for true crises - like people being shot and killed, for instance. People being hacked. People being attacked or griefed. Don't treat that person like they have to kiss your feet. Nobody deserves abuse no matter what they have done.

In the end, it may still be a good idea for the person to leave, but at least if you show some love, respect, and consideration, you know you approached the situation with the best and more adult attitude. No one should have to be afraid to speak up and share their point of view. No one should have to lose their family because someone else couldn't keep their emotions in check. This is supposed to be fun and fulfilling, not be a constant fight where to stay where you feel at home means you have to put up with intimidation.
Tags: bloodlines, consideration, kindness, second life, virtual reality
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