February 17th, 2011

broken egg

Do I really Need Rules?

Tonight something happened that made me feel like I have to put rules in my profile again.

While I do not hide that I'm bisexual, nor that I'm polyamorous, I am devoted to my husband Willy. It would take a really extraordinary person practically landing on my head before I'd have a secondary relationship.

Having a pretty face and a nice body in virtual worlds can sometimes be a handicap. Take this situation tonight. Remember when we had our home invaded by some woman and her kids, which prompted us to move to a more secluded location? Not knowing that they were separated, I sent a notecard to the (estranged) husband of the woman, letting him know that she'd attempted to coerce my husband into a private meeting (and probably more).

This was several weeks ago. Willy and I have since gotten remarried and have a solid and strong relationship, and neither of us are actively looking to get involved outside of it. Tonight, this guy decides to IM me out of the blue, supposedly thanking me for sending him this notecard. His intentions, however, soon became clear:

Incoming message from (This Guy)
This Guy: Hi Marie
Me: hello
Me: Is there something I can help you with?
Me: hello?
Incoming message from (This Guy)
This Guy: Hi Marie, sorry went afk
Me: ahhh what may I help you with?
This Guy: I just got your note regarding My ex wife
Me: aye
Me: that was quite awhile ago now
This Guy: I saw
This Guy: I was just saying thanks for letting me know
Me: you're welcome? hehehe
This Guy: You fancy going on a date with me?

Say what??? Totally out of the blue, this guy asks me on a date. Oh and it gets better from there:

Me: I'm sorry but I just recently got married again
This Guy: Thats a shame :-(
Me: not for my husband :D
This Guy: I wont tell if you dont ;-)
This Guy grins
Me: sorry, we keep no secrets
This Guy: secrets keep things interesting
Me: ummmm.....sorry
This Guy smiles
This Guy: we both share a lot of ...characteristics
Me: You should also know that your ex wife and children caused us to move our home, and ban them from the sim.
Me: Who do, you and your ex?
This Guy: No, you and I
This Guy: I am no longer with My ex wife
Me: how so? Aye I know that now, she informed me.
This Guy: and the children I had no association with
This Guy: I am an Empath and Wicca
Me: Well let's put it this way. It tis never kind nor courteous when folks use the phoenix radar to find your private home and think nothing of crashing it...
Me: I see.
This Guy: Well, it was nice chatting
Me: Do take care.
This Guy: not the connection I expected, but maybe youre not as in tune as you profess
Me: Or mayhaps I have other goals.
Me: I don't open myself to everyone.

I am an Empath, Celtic Wiccan, and Hungarian Shaman, as stated in my "1st life" profile. Over the years, I've learned how to "read" people over the Internet, and, if you think about it, the Internet is just a bunch of electrons chasing one another, so anyone with Talent can learn how to read a person's energy signature travelling along those electrons.

Now it's obvious he's at least scanned my profile and knows I'm partnered, otherwise he wouldn't know my lifestyle.

My first impression was "this guy is trying to forge some sort of a connection using anything he has, and it isn't because he's interested in my mind." He "broadcasts" a lot, so I didn't even need to get into his head to find this much out. The conversation continues, and he is obviously trying to chastise me and/or put down my abilities but I do put him in his place:

This Guy: and maybe you miss some who you should along the way
Me: mmm, no, I don't think so. I've been a witch and a shaman for a very long time.
Me: Believe me, I know what I'm doing, and how to "read" people, even on the Internet.
This Guy: as do I
This Guy: and it's only been 10 years for me
Me: Then you should ask before trying to get into someone's head without permission :P
This Guy: haha lesson taken
Me: my shields are testament to my experience.

He's obviously not used to dealing with someone who has had to fight off things like psychic vampires and people harboring demons. So, things continue:

This Guy: and you should judge me not on my previous associations, but on how you read me
Me: Well...I don't take kindly to the notion that you'd proposition a married woman.
This Guy: you should know my reasons for doing that
Me: I don't read minds, quite on purpose.
Me: So perhaps you can tell me your reasons
This Guy: what do you feel was my reason?
Me: I cannot say, all I know is I, personally, have a lot of respect for people with prior bonds
This Guy: Maybe I doubted how genuine you were and wanted to probe
Me: and you hit a brick wall - LOL - I have to do that or people can hurt me.
Me: As far as my bond, I take it quite seriously
This Guy: As you should, hence my probing
Me: That doesn't stop me from being friends with someone, however
Me: And I am always interested in getting to know fellow magickans

Ok, so I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and get to know him as a person...but is he willing to do that with me? That is the question...

This Guy: I think we're meant to be and the real reason you were impelled to write me a note
Me: What makes you think we were meant to be?
This Guy: lol a funny question from an empath ...because I feel it
Me: And btw, the bond I have with my SL husband extends beyond SL ... you see, he's magickal himself.
Me: Do you feel it, or are you simply attracted to me? After all, you barely know me, Empath or not
This Guy: Please don't take this wrong way, and I am sure you'll understand, but I feel no draw to him, only you
This Guy: Sometimes in life, we are drawn to another as a rung on a ladder ...maybe he and I will cross paths one day

Okay....bullshit alarms going off again. What could he possibly feel? Reading my surface energy will tell someone that I am a very loving, laid-back, generous person...but that's not enough to say "we were meant to be." Again, I am forced to conclude that he's trying to use every tool in the book to get me in bed. So I start asking him a few questions:

Me: Why do you live as a Wiccan?
This Guy: because it is where I belong
Me: notice I said "live" versus "practice" because it is a way of life
This Guy: i never felt right or like i fitted in until I lost my parents
Me: ah, another orphan.
This Guy: then I met a wicca on a paranormal night
This Guy: and i found my home
This Guy: I met her at her home with her girlfriend
This Guy: we became close and she taught me a lot
Me: interesting
Me: are you still living in the UK then?
This Guy: yes
Me: I'm in southern California.
Me: incidentally, if you're such a deep person, how in the world did you end up with your ex wife?

Another pregnant pause without the courtesy of a "brb afk" so I hit him with that. It's becoming obvious to me by now that (a) he uses whatever he's learned to manipulate others, and (b) somewhere along the line in his "learning", he never learned the basic ethics that go along with Talent. I closed the IM, and a little while later, he reinitiates it:

[2011-02-17 01:37:01] Incoming message from (This Guy)
[2011-02-17 01:37:02] This Guy smiles
[2011-02-17 01:37:13] Me: lemme guess, you went afk again.
[2011-02-17 01:37:30] This Guy: Well this is only SL, RL needs me
[2011-02-17 01:38:02] Me: actually both are rather real, as am I as a person, and a "brb afk" would've been the courteous thing to do...
[2011-02-17 01:39:36] Me: :p
[2011-02-17 01:45:33] This Guy: lol
[2011-02-17 01:45:39] This Guy: It has been said ;-)
[2011-02-17 01:45:58] Me: what has been said?
[2011-02-17 01:46:18] Me: I'm just as real as you are. Do you commonly walk away from people without saying be right back?
[2011-02-17 01:47:18] Me: well it's not done here, either. It's common courtesy.
[2011-02-17 01:47:48] This Guy: lol point taken
[2011-02-17 01:49:31] Me: Let's see...you've had an account since 2006 and you still haven't learned that we're real people with real feelings?

Oh good gods, another one that says "this is just SL" as though the rest of the resident population are players in a MMORPG rather than real people.

His attitude cooled off after this which told me something else: He was looking for a roll in the sack before he took off for work (with the time difference, it was early morning in the UK).

Good grief a living, do I now have a tattoo on my head that says "easy"? He said he wanted to talk to me again, but I bet it's more wordplay with his objective being pixel sex. I will talk to him again, but if it turns out to be more bullshit, I will cut him off.

His profile is fraught with "I'm MAN hear me ROAR" stuff. He has an ego as big as a house and is obviously used to getting what he wants from girls he meets online. Amongst all the chest-beating, it also says he likes a challenge. Well, if he regards me as a challenge, he'll get more than he's bargained for.

Basic Rules

Recent events have prompted me to lay down some basic rules:

  1. I am not looking to hook up in the concrete world. While I will be your friend and we can talk about stuff from first life, or even go so far as external messengers and telephone calls, I am not seeking anything beyond what I may have here.

  2. While I may be bisexual and polyamorous, this does not mean that I am "loose". I am very much devoted to my husband and am not seeking other relationships just for the sake of sex. He keeps me very satisfied. If you would like to get to know me better, we will start off as friends.

  3. I am not impressed by beefcakes. I am not impressed by "model looks". I am impressed by personalities and imagination.

  4. If you think "this is just a virtual world" and use that as an excuse not to show basic manners, I have news for you. I am just as real as you are and deserve basic consideration, just like you do. Don't do to me what you wouldn't do to your friends and family in the concrete universe.

  5. I am often in character and that character is a Fae Cat with a Celtic background. If you have a problem with furries, otherkin, roleplayers, etc. then we won't get along. I'm here using my imagination and creativity, I'm not here to recreate an avatar version of my concrete world self. Please don't ask me to remove my ears and tail or stop talking with a slight accent. Please don't ask me to change the way I choose to present myself here.

  6. While I am in character, the personality behind the character is the same person you could meet on a street. I believe in treating others with kindness, honesty, and sincerity. I would like the same from you.

  7. Just as my manners and personality carry over, so do my beliefs. I am a Celtic Wiccan High Priestess by training, and a Hungarian Shaman by birth. I am a free thinker and have a very open mind. If you are offended by any of this, we won't get along.
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