May 29th, 2013


Wearing a Collar

Everyone understands the idea of a collar differently, whether it be in RL or in virtual reality.

When I was collared to my companion, I was not totally subservient in that I wasn't allowed to think or do for myself. If he thought I was going to do something that would hurt me - well, of course, he'd tell me not to, but so would any lover concerned about their beloved. My collar didn't really come into play until we agreed that it did.

It was a mutually consentual relationship, and that ended and turned into something else, a blend of companionship many do not comprehend.

It's no different with me and the man who has me collared in virtual reality. I lead our clan with him, I am not subservient to him in that sense at all. I take care of myself. If there's someone I want to be intimate with, that's my choice too, as long as I am honest about it and remember where home is. Berial doesn't order me around like a slave, because I am not a slave. I am a submissive, and you can see it when we choose to let others see it. He doesn't control my virtual life, anymore than I control his. He loves me and protects me, and what we do behind closed doors is our own business.

Collaring does not automatically equate to ownership. It can equate to that, but a goodly share of the time it's likely more of a mutually consentual relationship. When you get into ownership, then you're talking slavery, actually putting your life in someone else's hands and allowing them to control it. That takes either one helluva lot of trust, or blind stupidity, depending on the person handing their life over.

I prefer the consentual relationship, where I control the major elements of my life, and submit to the one that I love when I don't have to have my "public face" on. Berial likes it that way too and that's why he holds my collar.

I really don't "get" where people in virtual reality think "collar = owned". "Ownership" implies the "Owner" has control over everything I say and do. That has never been the case for me, in any world, real, virtual, or otherwise. I would hope it wouldn't be the case for most. I can speak only for myself.