When you reach the next rank, it gives you a sense of accomplishment. You rely on your minions to be honest and loyal with you. If it turns out one is not, and leaves, taking their souls with them, and knocking you down a rank, it leaves you feeling like they really did not care what harm it may have done to you, either personally, or gamewise.
It's one thing to leave because you're not happy; it's another entirely to leave because you fell in love with someone. Leaving one liege for another because you're romantically involved with them is not a good reason to change lieges, and most families have rules governing such practices.
When you decide you will strong-arm your leaders into accepting a liege change, you're not following the family rules, nor are you stopping to consider that they were put into place to keep people from getting hurt, both personally and gamewise.
What's the point if you are going to do whatever you want? If you have no consideration, nor loyalty, for those you pledged yourself to, then why bother? Go off and create your own clan and deal with the resulting chaos that comes with such lackadaisical attitudes toward rules. Don't, however, think you can do it within your current family and not suffer some consequences for it. What consequences, you ask? Well, for one, your clanmates may back away from you because they sense your lack of loyalty and consideration. Yes, that's what it is when you decide to do something that flies in the face of the rules you agreed to follow and uphold. It's not simply a mistake, it's a demonstration of how little you care for how your family was formed and run. It shows your lack of consideration for your lieges, and your clanmates. It's really no wonder they back off from you. Who really wants to associate with someone whose actions cannot be trusted?
Yes, this is your virtual life. You do find out that, just like "real life", or life in the concrete universe, when you intermingle with others and join groups, you will be bound by the rules that govern them. If you don't want to follow those rules because you feel it "restricts your freedom", then don't join. Don't commit, then try to say that they don't apply to you. Doing so leaves you appearing like a self-centered asstastic individual, and in the end, nobody wants to be associated with someone like that.