Phantasies and Alternate Dimensions (feline_phantasy) wrote,
Phantasies and Alternate Dimensions

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Dating Attitudes

I have been desperately trying to catch up, on rest, work, blogging and socializing, the past couple of days.

Now I don't think anyone can blame me (well you could, but that doesn't mean I'll listen) for devoting the majority of my time to the care and feeding of my relationship with Willy. Anyone in my shoes would do the same thing...especially if they considered every day spent with their significant other to be a miracle all by itself. We both went through a lot in December and the first part of January. Frankly, it seemed a lot longer than that...funny how time can be so relative when you're nursing a broken heart and praying for a miracle.

Well that miracle happened. Willy began talking to me again, and we went from there. Our connection is deeper and more solid than it was before.

We both found out there are a lot of really shallow, narrowminded, and self-serving people out there. One which comes to mind has what I'd term a very "backwoods attitude" when it comes to dating, and I'm betting dollars to doughnuts her attitude is the same in the concrete universe - after all, that's where our attitudes are usually formed first.

What is this kind of attitude, you ask? Well, I have an especial understanding of it, having grown up in small town and rural areas of Wisconsin. Now, before I go any further, let me state for the record that what I am about to say is not an attempt to make myself look better, or to put anyone specific, down. It's my observations based on the areas I've grown up in, and in seeing the same attitudes echoed within virtual space. Certainly not everyone who comes from a background like this has the same attitude; if that were so, I would have it. As always there are exceptions on both sides and your mileage may vary.

To me, a "backwoods attitude" toward dating is this: You expect to get taken out to a restaurant, drive-in, indoor movie, or something similar. Somewhere during the course of the date, after the "main attraction" has been enjoyed, you find yourself necking/petting/getting it on either in the other person's car or, if they have their own apartment, perhaps in their bed. This is the usual anatomy of a backwoods date - and a lot of it has to do with a lack of things to do in small towns and rural areas.

Many of the kids who grow up in such places never further their education beyond, say, high school or tech school, so they stay in the same area. Some marry their sweethearts, have a few kids. Some then divorce. Yet others, especially women, don't get married, but have kids anyway - and I know many outside observers can't understand why they don't use protection.

Well, let me clue you in on a few things that I "grew out" of and that I know about my fellow women who are still in those areas.

One. If a guy doesn't at least want to fuck you on the first date, you assume there is either something wrong with you, or they're gay. This becomes more of a problem if they fail to call you later in the week for another date. This has a HUGE impact on your self-image and self-esteem. Now, you may not let him fuck you on that first date - but the wanting is the important thing, and makes the gal feel attractive and desireable.

There is also the matter of birth control. While lots of gals use it, or insist the guy wear a rubber - just as many don't and won't. Many guys will bitch that they can't stand to wear a rubber and a girl isn't about to tell him he can't have what he wants. Also there is a bit of embarrassment hauling your ass over to the local Planned Parenthood to get pills...or worse yet, to your local doctor, since many of these areas don't HAVE PP offices. As a result, you get a lot of unplanned pregnancies.

So, you ask, why don't they get an abortion? First thing is the matter of money. You have to remember that we're talking about gals in small towns and rural areas. Ask the guy to pay and you have the same problem - either he doesn't have the money or he ends up telling the girl it's HER problem.

Second thing is the matter of trying to 'entrap' a guy into staying with you. Whether they admit to it or not, a lotta those girls think that if they have the offspring, the man will be 'moved' to stay with them, since it's their flesh and blood, too.

Ummm, nope.

Nine times out of ten the gal ends up going on some sort of welfare or workfare, AFDC, etc. and suing the guy through the family courts to get child support. Just as many of those guys will deliberately NOT work so they don't have to pay...and if it's a state like Wisconsin, they'll end up in jail eventually, because WI doesn't mess around. You're expected to go get a job and pay your share.

Now, what does this have to do with virtual worlds? Well, the lovely Internet makes it possible for these selfsame gals to get into virtual worlds, complete with their attitudes.

Typical date: Clubbing/Shopping/Fucking. If they happen to land a date with someone who is a wee bit more cultured, and doesn't follow that protocol, they become confused, and begin to doubt their own sexual prowess. At the same time, they won't blame themselves, generally. They'll blame the guy for not wanting to immediately engage in sex. If the guy doesn't bother initiating another date (usually because they're looking for someone more interested in culture) many of these same gals will persecute them for it - especially if they just happen to be involved in the same community.

Total clash of what I call "low" culture and "high" culture...and the results are never pretty. You may call them shallow, but in reality, they're just following the same patterns they engage in, in the concrete universe. Just because you know how to operate a computer, and certain software, does not mean you are suddenly educated, and sophisticated.

This doesn't just happen with "backwoods" gals, either. I met a few "backwoods" guys who also don't know what to do outside of the very simple protocol I outlined above, and cannot comprehend why a certain gal won't go to bed with them nor want to see them again.

The only fault I can honestly say I have is when a person like this tries to defame, disturb, harass, or otherwise make miserable the more cultured person for deciding to move on. Listen you guys - it's not a reflection on your sexual prowess, it's culture clash, pure and simple. Now show us that you're over 18 and learn to move on. There's someone for everyone in virtual worlds, just like the concrete universe.
Tags: dating, virtual worlds

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